Friday, 14 February 2014

Mental turbulance

It's been a long time since I posted. The past couple of weeks have seen a lot of mental turbulence - quite typical for bipolar disorder but nonetheless pretty unpleasant.

 I have managed to keep up with the filing and my area of the sitting room has been reorganised. That was partly due to the mess generally, but largely due to synesthesia. This is a condition where senses become conflated. So, when I see this:


I don't just see lime green, I FEEL clean hands.

 When I see this:

I don't just see yellow, I hear wood pigeons cooing.

 This:


is not just red, it is the sound and smell of the beach, including waves, seagulls and fish and chips!

 Turquoise is a tricky one:

Some days, just looking at this would make me physically nauseous as it smells overwhelmingly of play dough to me.

 So, in reorganising, I have put my bright acrylics more or less out of direct sight and next to me I have my wool, cotton, alpaca and silk yarns. I always seem to choose muted colours in these, which are nice and soothing.

 I am also exploring the physical, mental, spiritual and financial implications of starting a new craft. No details yet, but a few hints:





Lots of Mindfulness practice to try to keep centred, reading 'Spirit of the Home' and 'Quaker Faith and Practice' and my new favourite bog, nestledunderrainbows
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5 comments:

  1. Dr Christine Crawley14 February 2014 at 09:35

    So much emotional turmoil to deal with - stay strong and thanks for sharing x

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    1. PigglesBoo14 February 2014 at 13:26

      Thanks for your thoughts. Some days it is tough.

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  2. Margot16 February 2014 at 04:24

    When I first heard about synesthesia, I thought, "how cool". But your post gives a glimpse of what a colossal, exhausting assault on the senses it really is. You can't turn it off. Thank you for the insight, Piggles.

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    Replies
    1. PigglesBoo16 February 2014 at 07:56

      Probably the worst thing about it is, like most mental conditions, unseen. I appear not to be doing much yet get exhausted, and it is partially due to all that is going on below the surface. That is why crafting is a life line to me because it affords me the opportunity to zone out of my mind and concentrate on what my hands are doing.

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  3. kiddomerriweather26 February 2014 at 03:07

    Wow! I had no idea such condition existed! I probably should educate myself more on my mental illness. I've been diagnosed for at least 15 years and education in my area of the US is nonexistent. It's just been in the past few years I even was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and had no idea that there was more than one type! Once I get to where I need to be, that shall be my goal, education.

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